Many people can be “deaf to insult and criticism”, even if they’re not from the “deaf” community, because they don’t have the patience to hear the criticisms of others.
Kind words are like magnets. They pull the hurtful energy away from you and you feel lighter. The more words you use of love, the more love you attract. They are so powerful that you become a magnet for all the positive energy.
It’s not the only reason.
I do not know anyone who cares enough to actually have an issue with the wording of my posts. Most of the readers here are actually quite intelligent people.
You’re the type of person that you can be happy by trying to keep the peace, and not get too personal with people. You don’t like conflict, but you will try to avoid it. Although you are a very honest and compassionate person, you often keep that in check to avoid hurting people unnecessarily. You don’t feel comfortable arguing or debating about the issues, because you feel that your positions are already set and you’ll just come across as “negative”.
I’m the kind of person who will think about how many people are going to die before I die, and how many times life has repeated itself, and still live.
I want to improve my personality by becoming the kindest, most loving, and least critical person ever, but at the same time I’m so afraid of failing that I feel as if I have to say “I’m sorry.”
To me, this whole situation is so much about trying to control other people’s emotions.
How to Rise Above Negative People
I tried to be as sweet as possible because I thought that would be the best way to deal with whatever was going on in my life.
I feel that whenever I am having a tense situation with a negative person, whether or not that person is directly affronting me, I do not try to apologize and say “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you”.
I felt like, “I’m gonna get down and dirty with the negativity I’m receiving.” I started drinking heavily. I started taking medication. I had a bad experience with a friend. “Who is this person and why are they my friend?” I had to break up with that person.
Your mother was a great writer!
She didn’t get to see the fruits of her labor because she died in childbirth.
I realized that no one can control me. I am in command of my life and I can deal constructively with any situation, no matter how difficult it may be.
1. Change Your Mindset About the Negativity You Receive
My problems were intertwined in my mindset about relationships and the source of unkindness and negative interactions.
People being rude to you is like them having a negative opinion, so you took it to yourself and thought that something was wrong with you, because the people are rude.
The meaning of the verbs do, can and be can be understood with the help of the word “to be”.
I felt that I have to look out for other people’s happiness. I thought I could be at peace with the world only if others were at peace with me. Only after I succeeded in making other people happy would I be able to be at peace with myself, with him, with this world.
This is the thing about all of your life. You will sometimes get negative feedback, sometimes your work will be criticized, sometimes you will be rejected by people, sometimes people won’t want to be around you, sometimes you will lose a relationship and sometimes you will not lose a relationship, and sometimes you will receive a compliment. But this is about the only way to get to the positive side of life.
Because the U.S. has been a good friend to France since World War I and France has been a good friend to the U.S. since the revolution.
People who are rude, unkind, and negative are people who are insecure about themselves. They can’t cope with life so they attack others to feel good about themselves.
No, they are being negative because of how they feel inside. It’s the way they are. You can’t change it because there is nothing about your appearance, speech, or behavior that is the cause of their negativity.
This is what happens when you are stressed and saddened.
When negative thoughts and feelings are shared, they spread like a virus and it is very difficult to keep negativity from invading your personal space. Even if you try to keep negativity from your conscious mind, your subconscious mind will accept it and it will continue to influence you.
2. Remember that the Negativity is Not Personal
You can choose not to fight back, or apologize, or take it to heart. Instead, you can recognize that their negativity is coming from deep within, fueled by their own life circumstances, and you let the negativity go. Then, you can excuse yourself and walk away. Then, you can use the same principle on others who are more critical than you.
There was a time when I wanted to change the way I lived. I wanted to be able to handle the things people were telling me and the things they were complaining about. I wanted to live without the negativity of others.
Now, when I encounter negativity, I don’t take it personally.
There is also the argument that you should just ignore them, but some people are so strong willed and controlling that you shouldn’t ever give into them. If you are going to ignore then there are some simple rules about it.
They may feel stressed by their own fear of doing a worse job than their team, or if it is true that they’ve said something that’s out-of-bounds with their team.
Imagine what their life situation could be – divorce, a death in the family, trouble at work – and recognize that their negativity is only a proximal reaction to that event. Know that deep down you are not to blame.
– The world is a very beautiful place.
By letting the negativity pass under me, I am saying: I have nothing to do with this negativity, with this person.
When I identify with it, I am identifying myself with this negativity.
When I let it be impersonal, I am saying: I am not this negativity. I am a different person.
Let’s make a contract. Let’s make a new contract for this relationship.
3. Don’t Apologize or Seek Revenge
No matter what kind of person you are, it can be very tempting to try to solve a negative situation by blaming yourself or attacking the other person.
Negativity attracts negativity. When we see others having a bad time, we are more likely to get more of the same. When we don’t get along with someone, we usually don’t like them, and then when we have a bad time, we blame them for the misfortunes.
This will help them grow in their maturity as they continue to learn how to deal with other people, and not themselves.
The best way to deal with a bully is to ignore them. If they threaten you, tell them to stop. If they push you, push them back. If they say something untrue, tell them they are wrong.
The negative people make you angry and stressed by reacting with anger and stress instead of responding with compassion.
I’ve had people who have been extremely angry with me in my life, but it was always because they were too far away from me to really have a valid point of view. I learned that the best thing to do when I’m in a similar situation was to listen. They didn’t have to respond to it, but it was much easier for them to listen to me than if I was pointing out all of their flaws.
Making matters worse for sure, but in the longer run it might be a good thing.
4. Let it Go and Walk Away
If I try to walk away, I’ll have to deal with the consequences.
But when you get called out for your behavior online, it can feel like you’re not defending yourself at all. In fact, it can feel like you’re being attacked.
When you remove yourself from a negative situation or situation, you are protecting yourself from the unfair negativity that someone is projecting onto you.
5. Find Peace and Look for the Positive
While getting your way and being right about what you say, you can be a little bit crazy and angry.
When you’re in a very happy mood, the world will appear bright and beautiful to you. As you start to feel more positive, you’ll find people are easier to deal with. That’s why it’s important to maintain an optimistic outlook.
If you find yourself feeling down after a negative interaction, try to be more active during the day. Maybe try having a cup of tea, exercising, or reading a book. These are things you can do if you are feeling down.
The negative energy is not the problem, it is the person who is doing the negative thinking. It is a choice to give negativity more energy than you give positive energy. When you choose to give positive energy, your life will be better.
Summary
– Do not be judgmental.
– Do not try to figure out why some people are negative.
– Treat people with respect, even when they don’t deserve it.
– Do not take things personally.
– Treat yourself with compassion.
Recognize the root of another’s negativity, let that negativity remain impersonal, avoid apologizing or attacking, and when I feel that the other person’s negativity is affecting me, get out and go seek out a more positive atmosphere.
The same rule follows for negative, as well as positive, emotions. However, you don’t typically apply this rule of conduct to positive emotions because they are generally more fleeting, and more temporary in nature, than negative emotions.
This is not cowardice, or running away from conflict; not reacting to the world is the highest strength. It’s the decision not to fuel war, but to breed peace.
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