The man who is a nice guy is the type that is nice to everyone, but does not stand on his own. He is the type that cannot stand alone, and is always in need of support.
He is not a friend, but a close friend. He is more like a friend who is always there to help, but does not get close to you.
Â If you are going in to the marriage expecting that your spouse has to be the nice guy, you might be in for a tough time. The nice guy is supposed to be a selfless person who goes out of his way to give his spouse, and the rest of his life is to give to others.
Are You A Nice Guy?
If you do a lot of networking, or are a sales person, you’re probably aware of the fact that being nice to others is an absolute must. However, how do you measure up? Here are the top ten signs that you are a nice guy, and what to do about it in order to ensure your success.
1. Nice Guy or A**hole Seems to Be the Only Two Options
People who are really great at being nice will see a lot of positives in being nice, and they’ll see people doing good things and they’ll want to be kind to them.
You can be nice, but still have a backbone and set boundaries.
You can be nice, but still have a backbone and say no to requests.
You can be nice, but still have a backbone and say no to requests.
2. You Give Expecting to Get Something in Return
Nice guys have a false belief about how the world works. The gift they give isn’t truly selfless; it comes with an unstated expectation that you will in turn pay them back, or else.
When one party isn’t aware of this contract, both parties may become resentful or frustrated.
In other cases you have a person who is trying to communicate a message in which the message is ambiguous. If the listener doesn’t know the meaning then the listener is left to make up his own interpretation of the message. If this happens then the person who is sending the message is going to be unhappy if the listener makes his own meaning out of the message.
Expect people to do things for you only when you have asked. Do not put undue pressure on people just because you have done something for them. People have their own plans for themselves.
Avoid situations where you are in a position of vulnerable power and don’t take advantage of that. Don’t say “You are just my slave,” and don’t use any form of sexual authority over someone.
You shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself or your feelings. There is no such thing as a private chat between a couple, a friend group or a team. You should let everyone know you have something bothering you. It’s your duty to protect your self and be honest with everyone.
3. You Believe that if You’re Nice, Everyone Will Love & Desire You
When I was young, a girl told me she hated me. I was devastated for days because I was nothing but nice to her. How and why should she hate me? She seemed to just hate me for the fun of it.
The same is true of any person. For example, the following are both translations of a common sentence from the native language to the one that speakers of that language use (English in this case).
A lot of bad luck and heartache may follow you if you try to be like everyone else. Being real and honest with yourself (not to your parents, friends, or lovers) makes you strong and gives you a solid base from which to build yourself.
4. You Believe that if You Do Everything Perfectly, it Will Be Smooth-Sailing
They think that their failures and mistakes are part of their character.
They think that they have to be perfect.
They look outside for validation.
They are afraid to try new things.
This is one of the most difficult parts of life. However, you still strive to be the best you can be even when faced with troubles. People may not understand your situation but you are still able to carry on with life.
On the person-to-person level, even with the best relationship, there can be times when it does not feel perfect. We need to stop being so perfect for each other and not rely on the other person to be the same.
If we can learn to forgive ourselves, we can forgive others.
5. You Avoid As Much Conflict As You Can
It sounds like he has no work experience.
You don’t like fighting, arguing, or anything violent. You think the world can be a lot more peaceful so you avoid anytime of debate or conflict.
– You think that things are a lot more peaceful in the “old days”.
In general, people who want peace and quiet rarely get the peace and quiet that they want. People who argue a lot usually find out that the argument is not a real argument and the other person will not listen because they are usually unwilling to have a real discussion with that person.
6. You Seek External Validation & Approval
Nice guys are very sensitive to what other people think of them. If they think they’re not a good person, they feel miserable. And if they’re surrounded by friends & family who think they’re a great person they feel really good.
The problem with this world is that you may not always be in control of external circumstances and they may be false representations of you as a person. Just because you are not doing well with women doesn’t mean you are not a good person.
Nice guys tend to make toxic assumptions about others.
7. You Have Toxic Shame You Try to Hide
The nice guy often gets a bad reputation because he doesn’t make you feel attractive, he doesn’t understand the need for intimacy or he just doesn’t think any of this is his responsibility. These guys are often very sweet and kind, but in need of a lot of TLC.
8. You Have Few or No Friendships With Other Masculine Men
These “nice guys” who don’t want to be rude to women were abused or abandoned when they were younger. Maybe it was a traumatic event that happened at an earlier age for them.
Because of the masculine tribe, nice guys learn behaviors that are unattractive. It’s all a result of the masculine tribe.
9. You’re Scared to Ask Others for a Favor Without Doing Anything in Return
Nice guys are often scared to death of asking someone do something for them if they can’t return the favor. If you’re constantly afraid of doing the smallest thing for others, you’re probably a nice guy.
If it’s not the source, then the answer is no.
10. Everything Seems Fine to Others Until You Burst Like A Pressure Cooker
A good man can pretend that everything is okay when he knows there’s a problem. He keeps his problems to himself until he explodes and reveals his emotions.
If you’re unhappy with a situation at work, it’s a good idea to tell the boss what’s bugging you. This allows you to get out of the situation while also letting others know your concerns.
This short article explains how being a nice guy can cause you to lose out on opportunities and relationships.
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