50 Hilarious Letterkenny Quotes

Letterkenny is a nice show.

A television show that follows the people of Listowel, Ontario. The show is created by K. Trevor Wilson, a writer and director from Toronto, Ontario. The show premiered on November 24, 2014, and stars Keeso.

The series debuted on The Comedy Network in Canada on February 4, 2016, and was later picked up by the CTV for a second season on March 4, 2016.

Letterkenny’s a comedy that revolves around life in the small town of Pine Creek. People make jokes, but at the same time they’re all really nice people.

50 Hilarious Letterkenny Quotes

“I’m too fat to run for a position.”

4. The original claims that the author does not have enough money to be able to afford a book.

Not really a big deal, it’s a very common way to spend the evening with your buddies. It’s how we did it back in the 90s. So, if we don’t see much of each other, then we have the next best thing.

3. The closest you’re getting to any action this weekend is giving the dairy cow’s teats a good scrubbing.

I’m afraid the men’s onesie is out of stock. If you want one that is not in onesie sizes, check out my other store, TheSewerFrolic.

I don’t want to talk to her and risk being an asshole. I’m worried she’ll just be disappointed that I’m not actually a nice guy.

The whole world is waiting for me to make a big mistake. I’ll be a hero for saving my own life.

No matter how many times we repeat things on the field, how many times we do things the right way, it doesn’t matter, we’re going to lose the game!

I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night and wondering what it would feel like to have a real live girl that wants to go to bed with me. I think about my parents and all of the things I’ve never had and hope that one day I’ll be able to say “Let’s go easy” to a girl. I think about my first time and wonder if I can do it again.

10th of 50 LetterKenny Quotes

Lemony Snicket was a well-liked kid who had a lot of things happen in his life, and the book was like a way to really just look at all the things he went through, and people who read it might be able to relate to it. It also had some really good jokes in it.

11. Fuck you Shorey, put a shirt on.

I’m not sure what is going on with me today but I have this urge to talk shit. I really don’t know how to explain this, but I’ve been having this weird urge to talk trash all day. I guess it’s because I’m not doing so well at work lately and I just want to do something to kill my time.

I’m really good at wrestling and I appreciate someone who’s good at wrestling.

This is the perfect time to talk about how much of an asshole Wayne is.

A man can only enjoy a good game of strip poker so long before he starts to get a little nervous about it. It’s always a matter of when you start getting in trouble.

I think a charity tax break is called a tax refund. Also, your life is not “pathetic”. You’re extremely funny!

It’s okay to not talk to someone when they’re being crazy. I’m only just trying to help.

The scene’s a bit of a homage to “The Rude Pundit’s” friend, who has, as seen on this show, a fondness for jammy, thick-cut donuts.

Well he says it’s not a bad metaphor but it doesn’t really make sense.

20th of 50 LetterKenny Quotes

I’m made of spare parts, too — you know it, too.

It’s true, he didn’t hold our head-to-head match, so I’m just saying he’s a terrible fuckin ref.

Wayne has been working hard in the possum-control field at the farm for well over a decade. He continues to do so in addition to his job at Darryl’s store.

You stopped toe curling in the hot tub because you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.

This world is one where Christmas, the Day of Christmas, is considered so insignificant that it deserves to be left off of Christmas lists, and where the one day of the year when you should be giving thanks for all of your blessings is a day of gloom and desolation. It’s a world where, for the most part, if you’re not in some sort of religious service, you are without a congregation or a congregation is without you. It sounds miserable.

 Wayne is out, and probably won’t be back.

The ‘new’ Wayne is going to be tough to replace. He’s a cult hero, with a following that will find it hard to accept just anyone in the same vein. He’s been an incredibly positive, hilarious, and entertaining part of the podcast for the past three years, and I’m not sure who can step in to fill that role.

Canadians love the great Canadian goose. But that doesn’t mean you have the right to be rude.

I like your mom’s smile. She smiles like that even when she’s getting fucked.
You should tell her she can have me whenever she wants.
It’s the thought that counts, I say, and then I laugh.

30th of 50 LetterKenny Quotes

 There’s a reason your favorite characters have been in the same room as Wayne. There’s a reason they’ve shared the same scene with him. Because they’ve wanted to. Because you want to. Because they want to.

You know, we need the wood for the fires.

32. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne


In the first instance, all the phrases that the hero/heroine says are in bold.

Wayne’s comments were harsh, and caused the whole band to feel offended.

As it turned out, Daryl didn’t have to worry about being the guy who cracked open a box of pistachios. Not only did he take his $10,000 windfall and invest it in a bank, but he used it like a loan shark and bought his fellow inmates out of debt – including one of his best friends.

I’m pretty sure The Cat in the Hat is the one, but I’m probably wrong.

36. Gail tells Jeff that he should call her ‘cake’ because she’ll go straight to his ass.

If a cow were ever to make you feel like being hoovered with snuff, you should probably not speak to them.

You keep talking about what other people think. It’s about what we think. It’s your attitude, your own way of thinking and reacting that’s hurting people. We don’t care what other people think. We care about what we think.

David Suzuki has nothing to do with this discussion and is just a name of a famous environmentalist who was born in Canada. Wayne will need to watch it himself.

40th of 50 LetterKenny Quotes

What do you mean, where’s the sacrifice? There’s all kinds of sacrifices. Maybe you should be offering one.

That was nicely said. It was nice to hear that you were.

I like this one. It’s a little on the nose, and I know you’ve been getting hit hard and it’s probably hard to hear, but there’s also something to like about him being able to give the world a little bit of a boost.

And this one is kind of a long shot, but it’s a guy who I think you’ll like!

The two “boots” were actually the “drum,” a term used by the Civil War vets.

The man who said that also regretted that he said it and regretted that he regretted that he said it.

I love that the term is used so easily and without negative connotations in the show.

Wayne said that I should let them feel like they have the answer to everything.

In “Squirrelly Dan,” Dan says to Squirrelly, “Yeah. Hey, look at you, ground!” because he wants Dan to be afraid of the ground.

Wayne says what he says in the same way as a 12-year-old Dutch girl would, and it’s been really funny to watch it.

Buddy you couldn’t even wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill let alone a fucking city.


If you’re looking for fun, quirky things to do in Ottawa, visit the Ottawa Museum of Fun! It’s a fun museum with a great gift shop, and it’s right in the middle of downtown Ottawa – close to Parliament Hill.

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