45 Hilarious & Light-hearted Dave Attell Quotes

Which ones? There are so many… I guess the best one is when he says “I don’t drink and smoke, I just die”. That one is so me.

Dave Attell is a comedian, star of his own television show, and writer.

Attell was very popular in the 90’s, he hosted a show that would make the audience laugh, and he was always drunk.

Attell is a great comedian and was among the first to start making fun of comics who did drugs in the early 1990s.

The star of ‘Arrested Development’, Jeffrey Tambor, has made a few appearances in Netflix’s ‘Disenchantment,’ but his most memorable character was the voice of the Elf.

Attell has also produced and starred in the comedy series ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,’ which stars and is created by his close friend Charlie Day.

Dave Attell had a great sense of humor. He was funny whenever he said anything. He was a funny person.

45 Hilarious & Light-Hearted Dave Attell Quotes

This show is about people telling jokes and I really enjoy doing stand-up and making television shows.

Dave Attell is known for his hilarious jokes and bits about his daily life. In this funny conversation with comedian Brian Stack, Dave Attell talks about his childhood, his comedy and even some dark personal matters.

Dave Attell says that premature ejaculation is a relatively new thing. It’s a fancy term for when a man ejaculates before intercourse is over.

Dave Attell was the guest on one of my podcasts. He said this on the show, and I didn’t think it at the time, but I thought it was a great quote.

Not true. People who have the most fun on stage are those who can stand in the middle of a bar and tell people they are better at poker than everyone else, then get out of there before the cops come after them.

Attell said he hated traveling because his dad used to beat him with a globe.

Dave Attell is a pretty hilarious comedian. I’ve had a lot of fun at his shows and he’s a hell of a nice person. I’m not sure why he’s emotionally flinching in my presence.

If you have sex with an attractive, young woman, or a confused, older guy, you need a cigarette.

In the United States this winter, there are a lot of people who think there is someone in the back of their car in a black hoodie.

10th of 50 Dave Attell Quotes

When I was listening to the soundtrack, it was like seeing the movie again but with my ears.

Cuddling is a wonderful thing. I like to cuddle. Cuddling is always wonderful. It is the cuddling that is the problem. There is a fine line between holding someone down and loving them.

Dave Attell said that he is not a movie guy or a TV viewer, but whatever fits and seems to be funny is good for him.

Dave Attell said that penguins are the healthiest food because they are so high in fat and protein. He also mentioned the book Eat like you give a f*ck, in which he wrote that he ate a penguin for breakfast.

Dave Attell doesn’t want to be famous and he doesn’t think he is.

I’ve heard this joke several times. It’s pretty funny. I think I may use it, or something like it, sometime in the future.

Dave Attell feels if you’re offended on purpose, you don’t have any problems with an environment. If you’re offended because you have a bad experience, then you really have a problem with the environment.

Dave Attell doesn’t believe he is really a famous comedian. He says that he gets recognized but doesn’t think people really know who he is.

Dave Attell states in his standup routine that he once really liked Indians, but now he wishes he was a Native American.

20th of 50 Dave Attell Quotes

Dave Attell is one of the funniest comedians working today, and his show, “Attell” is a must-see in New York and London. He is in high demand on the comedy circuit, and a frequent guest on various shows. He has also been nominated for Comedy Central’s “Shorty Awards” and is a member of the prestigious New York Friars Club.

I’m not like the kind of dude who is in the audience, trying to get a reaction from you.

I wish there was a magic potion that I could add to my email that would get me more attention, more clicks, more email subscriptions, or more money at the end of the month.

I don’t want to get in trouble, but I have to say I don’t think Dave is a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

If you’ve ever made fun of someone enough, you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had.

This is a parody of Dave Attell’s (not that Attell) quote about how animals kill humans due to a sick man, where Attell is a comedian from the United States and “a half-mexican” is a racist term used only by some people for Mexicans (and used here to attack a politician).

I don’t mind a crowd full of groans because they just make it more fun for me!

I don’t know what gay couples do in sparklers, but I think it’s kind of nice.

People are funny. As a matter of fact…I think I’ve got a new motto for the day. “People are funny.” And that’s all I have to say about that.

Attell was a big sports fan. He loved Syracuse, especially basketball, and when he was there, he says the local sports radio station KIMN was the most influential thing — he used to drive from New York City to hear it live. He also loves the nightlife, and says he’d love to visit again — he just needs to do some research, and go out to local hotspots.

30th of 50 Dave Attell Quotes

Dave wasn’t confident in his comedy skills, so he didn’t think he could get a job as a comedian. But he knew he hated the day jobs, so he started going to stand-up clubs.

The world wide web is just a way to connect people.

The most amusing thing about this quote is that Dave Attell is a professional stand up comedian and also happens to be the host of Fear Factor.

33. Everyone was laughing. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing hard and pointing at me. Which was laughter to their kind.

Attell says he’s not the musical type, he just started a band when he moved to Los Angeles.

Attell said he would give his son a name that would make people want to say it. He picked Pizza-Pussy-Santa because everybody likes one of those things.

A while ago, Dave Attell found out about the existence of girlies, so he’s decided to find one for himself.

A comedy writer says that there are many people who will never fully appreciate the humor and wit in his work, because he doesn’t see the humor and wit in their lives. However, he feels that he may be able to make a difference in other people’s lives with his words.

Kids are social creatures and have always been, I believe the problem is not so much the media they have but the media they get. The internet has not changed the fact that kids still need to socialise, I’d rather they socialise in the park, in school, in play groups rather than online. The problem is that for many children these settings are not available or cannot be created because they are in private homes not in public.

Dave Attell said “The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman!” because they fill your head with weird facts that you can come out at any moment. Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait – don’t run away!

40th of 50 Dave Attell Quotes

Some people’s lives are so boring, their imagination allows them to get away from the reality of what’s going on.

Dave Attell is an actor and comedian who is best known for his role as Larry David’s son on The Larry Sanders Show. He says that he can’t write a joke as well as tell them, but he is interested in writing jokes.

There are a lot of reasons men and women are the same, but when they’re both on fire, they are exactly the same!

He said he was very romantic when he masturbates. Sometimes he lights a candle and tries to shoot it out. It’s like a carnival.

When it comes to Dave Attell’s comedy, you’re not allowed to have a grand plan. Whether it’s in the realm of comedy or your life, you’re not allowed to have a grand plan.

This is a classic line and a very good one, but it’s a bit difficult to explain the significance of the word “we.” If we were just speaking, it would probably be easier to understand the full significance of this quote, but because the speaker is Dave Attell, who has worked as a standup comedian for 20 years, it’s not all that easy to explain his meaning.


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