23 Funny Jerry Seinfeld Quotes & Lines

Seinfeld is a comedian, actor, producer, and writer who is famous for his stand-up comedy and co-starring role in the Seinfeld. He is known for playing the main character in the TV show Seinfeld. He has been nominated for several awards and has received several awards for his writing.

I collected some of our favorite Jerry Seinfeld quotes on a board for you.

23 Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Books are one of the few pieces of evidence that people are still thinking about.

I’m amazed when people think that they can take information out of a newspaper and into a podcast.

I don’t get what’s wrong with moving to Florida. It’s a beautiful place and there are plenty of white, middle class, Christian, conservative Republicans.

The road that we have to get to is the road that we must get to. We will never know if we could do something better if we did not try it.

The IRS is like a mafia organization, they can take anything they want!

In a word: moving. There are other words, but for our purposes, it boils down to movement.

The best way to describe a toddler is a blender. You have two parents who are the same, but two different things.

10th of 23 Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

The comedian says that “delicacy” is the key to success, and that you should never comment on anything that could be considered offensive or controversial.

You’re probably looking at a baby that was born right here in San Francisco. The parents just decided that if they were going to have a baby in San Francisco it was going to be a baby that was born here.

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. If you work hard, you can help others during this time. You can help and give the gift of happiness to others.

It’s interesting to see how audiences react when you do something new in comedy. The best comedians experiment with new ideas in their act. As a comedian, you should not be afraid to try new things and see what happens with your audience.

Jerry Seinfeld says that they were somewhat unsupervised. The audience was there and the network is not going to complain if everyone is liking the show.

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out”.

The key is to make sure that your first jokes are strong. Don’t worry about breaking the mood. Your first joke will have to carry you through. If you’re good at writing, your first jokes should be strong and not too short.

Jerry Seinfeld said that the first season of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee was written and geared for a very specific audience. He added that the subject matter, the dialogue, and the tone wasn’t right for most of America.

To be honest, I don’t care what’s on TV. People tell me to watch TV at night, though, so I watch shows.

I believe that anyone who reads the tabloid magazines have no other choice.

Comedians will never be able to tell the difference between an audience of strangers and a paying audience. You want to get paid, do the work.

Some people say ‘family fun’ is the best kind. But if you don’t want to go alone, or invite other people, to have fun, then you have something else.

Birthdays and celebrations are like candles, they are flickers in the dark. They mark an end and a beginning. They are a reminder of how we have grown. No matter how much we wish it would be different, we know that we will never be someone else. We will always be the people we are now, flickers in a dark. Happy birthday? No such thing.


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