30 Extremely Hysterical Chris Rock Quotes

Chris Rock is a popular American comedian, actor, director, producer, and writer. Over the course of his career, Rock has gained a large number of followers all across the globe thanks to his innovative and unique style of comedy.

30 Chris Rock Quotes

You can be married and be in a dull relationship or you can be single and be alone. There is no happiness anywhere.

As I was sitting in this park drinking my coffee, I could not help but think about this quote. I often get sucked into the idea of doing drugs, but I know that it’s a mistake. I’m glad that I can have an excuse when I mess up, but I’m also glad that there is no rehab for stupidity.

Chris Rock said that he thinks the world is going crazy, because Obama is the president, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player, Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer, and the French are accusing the Americans of arrogance. He also said Switzerland holds the America’s Cup, Germany is not going to war, and China is the strongest nation in the world.

The good side of crack is that you can do some good with it, you can get a good VCR for $1.50, you can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

Although the original joke can be interpreted as referring to a man who is a serial-rapist, the punchline is about how hard it is to outrun a woman, not her advances.

The statement is true for many reasons. Not only what you are able to do is different and not only does that make you special, but you are going to face different risks and will likely receive different rewards.

7th of 30 Chris Rock Quotes

There are only three things everyone needs in life: food, water, and compliments.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.

The way men speak is very different from the way women speak. And not just because they say shit but also how they say it.

The amount of people you meet, the amount of relationships you can have, the amount of fun you can have, everything’s based on your options.

1. Black men invented school shootings in the 1970s, and whites stole credit for it in the 1980s.

 Paula Abdul is the head judge of American Idol. Simon Cowell was a former judge of the show who currently serves as a judge for Britain’s Got Talent. The reason Paula was selected for the show was because she’s an established name and American Idol is a hot show. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s a great dancer and can sing her butt off.

I’ve tried to reach out to Sony and Universal and ask if this is something they’re looking into or have already implemented in some form or another, but it’s still early in the game.

15th of 30 Chris Rock Quotes

I’ve done a lot of research into this, since I am very interested in learning about the African-American experience. And I’ve realized black children are allowed to eat food that makes them feel ill. The only reason they feel ill is because they’ve been taught to feel guilty for eating food that makes them well.

There’s something funny about just having a celebrity take part in something that a lot of people have been wanting to see for a long time. So, that’s something I think will work. Shaq will be more than just Shaq on the court.

George Bush hates people who aren’t as tall as him and he can be seen in the old video tapes as a little kid.

O.J. Simpson is still paying $25,000 a month in alimony while his wife is getting fucked by another man in his own home. I can see where Chris would be pretty pissed off. I’m not saying O.J. should have killed her, but I could understand him wanting to. After all, he’s paying a mortgage that he’s still paying on.

In this world men tend to lie, while women are more likely to lie about other women. I don’t remember any examples of men lying about other men, but I could be wrong. When they lie they tend to exaggerate.

20th of 30 Chris Rock Quotes

When I was little, my father paid for the water, gas, electricity, and candles that made it possible for you to study for the big tests. My father also paid for your college. It’s okay, I understand. I’m proud of you. We’re all proud of you.

The Chris Rock quote is often used by rappers. His point is that no matter how much you love the deceased rappers, schools were allowed to be open at their dates of death (which were not on their birthdays), and schools will be open on their birthdays.

The way the whole thing was handled, and not taking it as seriously as they were supposed to, all made me think that it was a joke, as was the entire thing. But we can’t really tell that. I think it was funny. But if it was really serious, what a horrible joke that would be. I would feel really bad for the actors that were in it, if it was really serious.

The government is so scared of hip-hop that they don’t arrest anybody that kills rappers. Only the good ones are dead, man! Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don’t fill out a police report, they don’t even have a chalk line when it’s a dead rapper, they just take a pee around the body’s feet.

You love music. Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is your life.

25th of 30 Chris Rock Quotes

Whenever I go out with other married couples, I think it’d be fun to bring a single crackhead along, just to spice things up.

People say that Bill Gates is a billionaire not because he is good at what he does, but because he found a way to get wealthy. I find that hard to believe. If I were the richest man in the world, I’d start a million businesses, and I wouldn’t just be rich. I’d be the richest man in the world.

Women rule the world – if they would stop thinking about other women.

I’m sure many parents don’t want to rely on a man and can do just fine with two hands … but then again, that’s not the point here. Chris Rock is talking about how useless it is to have a man around just to help raise a child.

A: Dude, I like romantic comedies.
B: I’m not sure if I want to hang out with a guy who likes romantic comedies.

That’s what happens when you live in a neighborhood that’s as bad at being an active shooter zone as it is at being a neighborhood.


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